Thesis: Because the intro is so short, it is hard to decide what the thesis is, but I believe it is the 2nd to last sentence. Franny's thesis is original, inspiring,narrow focused, and arguable. It presents her claim in a very clear and visual manner, and thus serves as a colorful map for the rest of the essay.
Structure: The structure is often underdeveloped. The opening sentence needed to be stronger and the author needed to be bolder in her claim. The second sentence (run-on) includes an incorrect citation, as well as, a premature quote. These errors, however, are erased when Franny brilliantly states that Mr. Bennet might not be the most capable father, yet his saltiness attracts his readers.
Evidence: Most often, the quotes are vacuous and do not validate Franny's claim, but in fact add bulkiness. Here, reveals the truth that quality is better than quantity. Franny uses 11 quotes (!) in her essay, all from various segments of the novel. Yet, the quotes rarely reveal Mr. Bennett's bully characteristic nor his likability and thus render useless.
Analysis:It is evident that the quotes do not build up Franny's ideas because their analysis is absent or weak. A quote should never explain itself and Franny seems to hope they would. However, I love Franny's analysis in her last paragraph that Bennett is more of a "commentator that exists in the realm of the reader". Unfortunately, this is an extremely enticing idea that is only mentioned and not dissected. :(
After having read the essay, I am still left questioning about WHY Mr. Bennet is loved and WHY he is a bully. This clear polarity of word order seems to be an intriguing claim, but the essay leaves the reader with unsatisfied, curious, and disappointed.
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